Xenopus: frogs that are stitched together

So, I had this strange dream last night. It occurred in my room (well, both the sleep and the dream) but for some reason in the dream, my room had strangely moved to school. My friend Katherine, who does research on squirrels, needed some place to keep her squirrels until she has a box made for them. So I agreed that she could keep them in my room. So, she said that she was going to keep them on the ceiling fan, you know, so they would not bother me. So, there are 9 squirrels in my room and I keep an eye on them every now and again. Just to make sure that they are fine, and then, I can't see them anymore. But, to my relief, they are just hiding behind the fan blades. But then, one squirrel gets brave and jumps onto my bed. And this is scary for me, because what if they get lost or run away? Then two more jump down, and then all three of them jump onto the floor. Then Katherine comes back for them and I tell her what happened to her squirrels. And she said that is fine, I just need to help her catch them. So, two of them are easy to find. But we can not find the other one. Then it bites me on the ass. Hard. And it will not let go. And I am screaming, and then, I wake up, and my ass still hurts.

This dream made me wonder, what does it mean? It was so strange and vivid that I decided to get a dream interpretation. I sought out the most respectable person I could find and this is what they had to say:

"Because you dreamed of squirrels, it means that you are craving nuts. And the fan, shows that you want to be in a hot environment. The bed symbolizes your obsession with beds in general and the ass bite describes a hidden desire of yours."

So, I feel better about myself. Now, if I could just find a way to satisfy all these desires at the same time.

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The scariest thing happened to me today. I was at Harris Teeter, and here in Winston, Wake Forest Students get a student discount on their groceries. So, I was at the self checkout and there was a girl beside me. And you know how the checkout talks to you while you are checking out right? Well, her checkout asked, “Do you qualify for a student discount?” and she shouted “Yes, I’m a student!!” Now, when I say shouted, I mean shouted. It was as if she had won the lottery or something. I was just shocked, and scared. I hope that I never see Yeller Girl again.
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It has been brought to my attention that I have a spelling problem. One that spell check can not fix. It seems that I have a problem with making two words out of one. You can thank Jon Athan for this little piece of advice. So, I think that I may go back to the third grade. I looked into a support group. You know, one for people with my condition. The I-want-to-make-two-words-out-of-one syndrome. But alas, all I could find was the celebrity spelling bee group. And they said that until I was famous, they could not help me. So, I am stuck with this problem. Now, dearest blog reader, I would like to hope that this problem of mine would not make you think less of me (you know, make you think that I am stupid). And I would like to think that you would still continue to read at the same rate at which you are currently reading. But if this annoys you, then please. Stop right now.

Now that I got all those people out of the way, here is the good stuff. I am at home today because of the snow. As I may have mentioned before, sometime I have to work late, and tonight is one of those nights. So, I just decided not to go in at all because I would not want to spend the night at school. That would be kind of creapy. So, I decided to write a song. Now, it is not the best song in the world, as it is not an origional Sallie, but it is ok. So, you can sing along if you would like to. It is about the impending May graduation date and my thesis research. It is ok if i do say so myself.

I just don't know what to do with myself.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
Planning everything for two, me and my thesis too.
And now the deadline's almost through,
I just don't know what to do.

Like a summer rose,
August graduation glows.
I need that sweet day,
to take the pressure away.
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I think I have experienced a break through. This morning, I was up at 9:15. My bed addiction may be coming to an end, but since my bed is a integral part of my life, I am expecting there to be relapses. So, if any of you out there know of any bed addicts anonymous group that I could join, then please let me know. I feel I need the support of others that have the same problem.

On another note, I am going to give up something for Lent this year, unlike other years. But the sad news is that it has to do more with financial and health reasons than religious ones. But, if it will help me with my religion, well, I guess that is good. So I am going to stop going out to eat when I work late a night. For some reason, I think that I owe my self to go out and get something yummy when ever I am at work late at night. Why? Because I am not having fun and I know that other people in the world are having fun (or at least sleeping, which is also fun in my opinion). So, I am a very jealous person. Even so jealous that I am jealous over the abstract happenings of some unknown person that I will never even meet. Pretty pathetic huh? Well, I am giving it up. For Lent. (And now that I have told you about it, I actually have to do it. See, this blog thing can work out for good sometimes.)
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Hi boys and girls. Today, it is Pop Quiz time. Take out a pencil and paper and prepare to answer the following True/False questions. And remember, no cheating.

1. When the pH is supposed to be 7.20, then you should not go higher or lower than that.

2. When weighing out powered chemicals, you should always clean up after yourself.

3. When you are looking for something and are told that it exists in the drawers in the back of the room, do you look in all the drawers?

4. The acronym KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ok, lets see how you did.

1. False, because you obviously don't know how to follow directions anyway, so why would you start listening now. 7.4 will be fine because someone else will fix your mistakes

2. False, because you don't work here normally, so who fucking cares? Well, if they do, then they should clean it up themselves.

3. False, everyone knows that metal drawers aren't to be looked in, especially when they are labeled clearly with what you are looking for.

4. False, KFC obviously stands for Kitchen Fresh Chicken. All that Kentucky Fried crap was just a dream. An illusion. I mean, it is Fresh (which is good for you) not Fried. I am sure that with a couple more commercial campaigns, you will forget all about that Kentucky Fried Chicken crap and realize that it is just not the way that it is. Of course, it is still fried, but you don't have to focus on that anymore. Now, you only have to think about the Fresh part. YUMMY. I think I am going to get me some Kitchen Fresh Chicken right now.

(This quiz is entirely fictionally. Any relation to actual events is entirely coincidental. The questions on this quiz in no way represent the actions of any of my coworkers.)
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My new passion, Almond butter. It is super creamy and tasty but not over powering, like fresh peanut butter can be. I had an almond butter and banana sandwich this weekend (sans bread) and it was so good. My addiction grew greater because of this experience and I have been thinking about it ever since. Even in my dreams. So, I went to go to Whole Foods this morning to get some for me to eat with lunch, and there was not any. It was heart breaking. I was so excited about going there, and getting some almond butter, but the almond butter grinder was empty. It was just a sad moment for me. It kind of makes me wonder, if there is not fresh almond butter in the world, is life really worth living? Well, maybe for you but I kind of have to question it. I just hope to get a chance to go by there again soon and give them a chance to redeem themselves. Whole Foods, don't let me down. My every happiness rests in your hands.
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Ok. My new goal in life is to wake up early. And by early I mean before 10:00 am. Lately, I have been sleeping in until 11 or 12 and even then, I am having a hard time getting up. So, it recently started concerning me a lot when my friend, who ALWAYS sleeps later than me, started waking up early. So, I was determined to get to work early this Thursday by getting up at 8:30. And this would also help to avoid some of the late nights that I have been working (till 4 am and the likes). So I get up at 7:43, or so I think. And I am talking to my grandmother, taking shower, eating breakfast and even driving to work. Then, my alarm clock goes off and I am shocked. It all seemed so real. So, you would think that this dream of waking up and being productive would stir my soul into a furry of getting ready activity. But no. I hit the snooze button. Several times in fact. And then, I just turned the damn thing off. I don't think that I made it into school that day until 11:30. I think that I need to start sleeping in my car. Then I would have no problem getting up. I would be freezing and uncomfortable. But, these things work against me in real life. I have no need to get out of bed. All I could ever want is there, in my bed. I have warmth, shelter, coziness, a t.v., video games within easy reach (all I have to do is to decide to sit up) and candy. So, I was thinking about going to a meeting. It would go like this:

"Hi, I'm Sallie, and I am addicted to my bed"

Now, this is where you say, "Hi Sallie"

Good. Now I feel like a new person.
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In general, I do not like lists. But today is a exciting day and I am excited because I am going out of town and it is going to be close to 70 today. So, that is why I wrote this. I hope that you don't mind.

Reasons why I love the South (and North Carolina in particular).
1. It can snow and then 3 days later it can be almost 70 degrees out. This is just the best in my opinion
2. Collard greens, pintos and cornbread. Need I say more?
3. Beaches and Mountains in easy driving distance.
4. Many different styles of bar-b-que available to me in a matter of and hour's drive.
5. Well, there are many more things, but I want to go out side now and that is more important than my stupid list. Here, you can just make your own.
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About Japan, I asked my friend to go with me. And he said that he would but that while he was there, he was going to walk around in his underwear and pick up famous movie stars. Do you think he stands a chance?
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Oh, and I have the most best news ever. I am going to get to go to Japan this summer for a conference. I am SO excited. And part of my airfare, if not all, will be paid for. I am so EXCITED. I can't wait. I just thought I would share with any one who cared.
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So what is up with Subway? They were promoting their Subway diet with reckless abandon. Inviting Jared to star in every one of their commercials. And now, they are promoting the Atkins diet? What is this all about? Are they saying, "Hey, we realize that the Subway diet just will not work, so try something else?" It is not like their food is all that good anyway. Their bread was about the only thing going for them (and that was not the best). Now they are selling prepackaged meat and prepackaged cheese all on a tortilla. Now if that does not say YUM then I don't know what does.
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In honor of Valentines day, I would like to give you something to really appreciate. When I think of aphrodisiacs, I think of foods that are not the most delectable. You have oysters, rhino horn and Spanish Fly. Why can't there be something out there that is helpful and tasty at the same time? Well, such a product is currently being developed by Iceland Grocery Store based in the UK. It will be an aphrodisiac pizza called, what else, Pizzagra. I'm sure that I will not be long before some American pizza company picks this up and develops them for our consumption too. Now, that is an aphrodisiac I can get on board with.
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Today, I gave blood. Not to a vampire, but to the Red Cross. I hate giving blood, but I feel it is my civil duty to give blood, so I do it anyway. There is nothing fun about it. First they ask you all these questions like "Have you ever had sex with a man who has had sex with a man since 1977?" First of all, I am not about casual sex, but if I were do you think that I would interview everyone I had sex with asking them if they had sex with a man since 1977? Personally, that is information that I do not think I would want to know. Then they ask "Are you feeling well today?" Of course I am not feeling well. I know that you are about to stick a needle in my arm and suck my blood out. Why would I be ok? They also ask if there is any condition under which you see a doctor for so I said yes. I have allergies and being around rats all the time makes them flame up so I have to take medicine to make it all better. So, the lady asked me what I was being seen for and I said allergies and she asked, how do you spell that? Has she never heard of allergies before? It is not like it is some uncommon thing. So then came the moment of doom. I had to give blood. And they stick this needle in your arm and I know that you are not supposed to feel it after a minute or so, but I can always feel it. I hate it. Even now, as I type this, I can still feel the needle in my arm. I guess that this is what they call a psychosomatic pain. (I am really good at this kind of thing, imagining that things are wrong with me and then them manifesting themselves in side of me.) So, that was my day. Now I am going to do some work and then get out of here.
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Ok, this "Eat More Chicken" campain that Chick-Fil-A is touting has gone far enough. It is starting to make cows all over the world think that they have rights. Check out this cow story. I know earlier, I said we need to kill the frogs, but maybe it is time that we start focusing our attention on the cows. It seems that they are an even more eminent threat to our humanness.

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Last night, I decided that I wanted Chinese. So I called the restaurant near my house as I was leaving work. Since I did not have a menu handy, I could not remember what the name of what I wanted was. But I did know that they were wide flat noodles, and I was confident that they would know what it was that I was talking about. Well, I was wrong. It turns out that the fine folks that run my neighborhood Chinese restaurant really don't speak english very well at all. I was kind of surprised. It is not like where I live has a strong Asian population. We don't even have an Asian market here (at least not that I know of). But obviously, there was a communication breakdown. So, I said "I am not sure what it is called, but I want the dish with the wide, flat noodles. You know, kind of like the lo mien, but with a different type of noodle." Simple enough huh? Well, he said that he knew what I was talking about and I said good, I want that with chicken. This puzzled him, for he said that it was only available with pork inside it. Come to find out, he was talking about a steamed pork dumpling. What part of a dumpling has a wide noodle in it? So, I tried again. This time emphasizing the part were it was like lo mien, with the vegetables and all, but instead of a lo mien noodle, it has a wide, flat noodle. So, he said he knew what I was talking about and said it was angle hair rice noodles. Now, exactly what part of angel hair is wide and flat I know not. But in an effort to end this ordeal, I just said yes, that is what I want. So I got it home, and it was not really all that good. The angel hair noodles did not have any seasoning type stuff on them, and they were really bland. I was really disappointed. So, I learned my lesson. Always keep a menu of your most frequented take out place in your car.
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Tragedy seems to be following me lately. Last night as I came home from school, there was an accident and everyone in front of me had to come to a safe and complete stop right beside the accident so they could see what the hell was going on. But alas, they could not see, so they decided to remain stopped until the police waved them away. This morning, there was a fire at an apartment complex that I pass on the way into work. At first I thought it was nothing, but then (as I was stopped at the stop light- not as a rubber-necker because I detest rubber-neckers) I noticed a door that had charred vinyl siding, instead of the normal uncharred version. And finally, tonight, I passed a wreck and a fire truck going off to respond to a call. So, if I were you, I would not cross my path, or cross the path that I am going to pass in the future. So if you need to know where I am going to assure your own safety, just let me know.

On a lighter note, I decided to try Wendy's chicken strips tonight. And they were pretty good. At first, I could not decide whether to order the "deli style honey mustard" or the "spicy southwest chipolte" but I finally decided on honey mustard. My standby. I was interested in how they had made it better and special. And as I got back to work to eat them, I did not get honey mustard at all, but I did get chipolte. So much for making a decision. It was good, but it should have been called spicy barbecue sauce because that was all it was.

One more thing, spellcheck (while it keeps me from making too many egregious errors) just suggested that I change "chipolte" to "shipload". I wonder what a shipload sauce would taste like? Typhus? Rats? Feces?
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I was grading papers tonight and I just thought that I would share with you the "fact" that I learned. FACT: Frogs use their blood to warm their body and therefore are warm-blooded mammals instead of amphibians. I just thought that you would be interested. Since you probably are of the old school class that thinks that frogs are amphibians. Well, frogs have just evolved. With this rapid pace, they make take over the world. So do yourself a favor, and kill a frog today.
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In general, I do not really obsess about celebrities, prefering to obsess over normal people instead. But there are a couple of celebrities that I just love and I want to introduce them to you now and let you know why I think they are so special.

1. Alton Brown. Ok, so I love to cook anyway, but he brings in the science behind the cooking. He explains why food does what it does when heat is applied to it. And when I just make a simple meal, I know that Alton Brown would not be ashamed of me. Everything does not have to be gormet, just good eats.

2. Ira Glass. His radio show is the BEST. I can't wait to listen to a new one each week. This guy just kick all other radio show hosts' asses. I dream of writing a clip for him and getting to be on his show, if only I could be so lucky.

3. John Vanderslice. My obsession with him has grown steadly over the past couple of weeks. Yes he is an excellent singer/songwriter but there is more. His song Josie Anderson makes me want to change my name. Only one other time in my life have I wanted to change my name. I was a kid, learning to read, and I read on this clothes hanger "Rosie". So I started complaining (remember, I was only about 3) to my parents saying, "I wished you'd named me Rosie." (in a most sad and pathetic voice) I have not yet said to my parents, "I wished you'd named me Josie Anderson," but maybe it would help.

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I don't know what it is about running water that I love so much, but I love it. Yesterday it rained all day long, and as I was walking to school it rained on me. It felt really nice, but by the time I got to school I really could not see (I wear glasses). But it was a wonderful start to an otherwise crap day. And then as I was going home, I decided that I wanted to smoke, so I had to walk to my car instead of ride the shuttle. But it was a nice night and I am not afraid of rapist wondering around in the woods (unlike my family) so I walked to my car. And because of all the rain, the streams were flooded. It was GREAT. I loved watching them rush and then I got to the "waterfall" (really just a dam that has water flowing over it) and it was so loud. And I hung over the bridge so I could see it. It was great. And then, one more rushing stream. And it was as wonderful and I thought it would be. Why I love rushing water and rain so much I do not know. The funny thing is that I do not like the beach. The ocean is just not exciting enough for me. And that is the biggest mass of rushing water that there is. But it is just not the same.

And I just want you to know, that I thought a long time about how I could make this interesting, but I just could not come up with an answer. So, boringness is all you get today. Sorry.
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Joy of all Joys. Freaks and Geeks episodes are coming out on DVD (April 6). And, they include the original songs from the show (unlike other shows). And, on Amazon.com, they are only $48.99, which is WAY better than the estimated retail price of $100-$120. So, if you love the show (like I do) then I think that you should buy it and watch it over and over and over.

So do you ever think about writing to a person that you do not know? Maybe someone whose blog that you read that you think is funny? But what would you say? "Hi. I am a complete and total stranger and I think you are funny. Do you think I am funny? Oh yeah, that's right, you don't know who the fuck I am." Back in the olden days, this would be considered stalking. But now, it is acceptable. Blogging is surely going to cause the ruination of society as we know it and I want to say, "Its shake-n-bake and I helped." (And now I have to ask myself, How did that kid get into my brain?)
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Home Movies has to be one of my favorite shows (it is on cartoon network's Adult Swim on Sunday nights) and it has recently come to my attention that there are no DVD's of this show for sale. Why? I know not. And this really disappoints me.

Also, I watched "Lost in Translation" recently and it was a great movie. A must see (as they say). But I kept getting distracted by the lead girl walking around in her underwear all the time. I kept thinking to myself, "Who does this in real life? This is so unrealistic. They are just trying to sell the movie with sex." These kind of things really bother me. Watch any tv show, and there are hardly ever (if any) fat girls. Especially the reality shows. But guys on the other had, there are plenty of average guys. I wonder if they will ever have a show called Average Jane, but I can answer that for you already. No. Because sex sells and fat chicks don't. But back to the movie. I kept thinking about this and getting upset and then it occurred to me, I am THAT person. I walk around the house in just my underwear. Well, maybe not currently, but I live with my grandmother. But when I lived by myself, one of the first things I did when I got home was to take off my shoes and pants and walk around my apartment in my underwear. Boy, did I feel ashamed when I realized this. I guess Sofia Coppola really knew what she was talking about. I bet she walks around in her underwear too.
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Water aerobics. It is the new thing that I do. Every Wednesday. Starting today. It was a lot of fun, but now I am going to have to buy me a lock so I can keep my stuff in the locker room. But I have to say that it was a lot of fun and a good workout too. I love the water. Why I did not try this earlier, I will never know. I think that I will start going to lap swim on Friday too. Swimming is good for me (and good for you too). Oh, and I am going to give blood soon. Next Friday in fact. And I think that YOU should donate blood too. Because it is good for people who do not have enough blood. You know, it would really suck to not have enough blood, and not be able to get anymore because someone who had plenty of blood would not give it up. Yea, I think that you should give blood.

And really, that is all that I have to say. So have a good night and I am getting ready to chow down (on something healthy though since I did exercise today and all).
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As everyone knows, Janet Jackson bared her breast during half time at the Super Bowl. I was just going to not mention it but then I read this article and I decided that I must say something about it. This article states:

Janet Jackson's boobylicious performance with Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl halftime show on Sunday has sparked a federal investigation and set new standards for raunch in an entertainment industry that seems to be setting new highs -- or lows -- every day.

So, now I ask, is boobylicious a word that can only be used to describe breasts? Or, can it be used to describe something that is a great as breasts? And if the second definition is acceptable, does that mean that only men, lesbians and bisexuals can use it? Or, can women use it even if they are not lovers of breasts like some are? And this is a serious issue for me because I never knew this was a word, but now that I have been introduced to it, I love it. And I want to add it to my vocabulary. I hope that I can resolve these issues soon so I can incorporate it correctly into my vocabulary.
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I had to watch the Super Bowl yesterday because the Panthers were in it (and they are my favorite). And as a whole, I am really proud of them, but it still saddens me that they lost. But they will go again and when they go, I will be cheering from my living room once again.

I have to say that I am REALLY glad that I cared about one of the teams playing this year though, because the commercials as a whole SUCKED. Some of them were ok, but too many of them were just normal commercials. What is that all about? I guess that our capitalistic society has let me down again.
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