Xenopus: frogs that are stitched together

Hi all. So, I am out of jail. Just got out this morning. (The damn judge made me spend 10 nights in jail. So, combined with the time before the trial, I just had one more night thank goodness.) So, you can all stop sending me the cigarettes now.

Also, I have to do 80 hours of community service. So, if you see me in an orange vest on the side of the road, please maintain your course and don't swerve to hit me. Yep, I will be cleaning up the crap that is America every Saturday and Sunday starting tomorrow for the next 6 weeks.

So, I guess that I need to get some serious sleep in so I can be all chipper for tomorrow's work detail. Sleeping with one eye open to protect myself for the past 10 days has really exhausted me.

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News Flash:

Court trial for today. State Fair Goat vs. Sallie. At 2:30 pm.

Updates to follow after the preliminary hearing.


Dear Blog Reader.

So, jail is not as fun as it used to be and here is why. One of my neighbors must have confiscated some things in with her, as Seaumus MacArthur suggested, and well, she is annoying the crap out of me. I think that she brought in her IPOD mini and a small speaker and well, there must have been only one song loaded on that damn thing because she keeps playing the same song over and over. It is like, "Fuck, play something else already." But if I were to yell out in rage, well, the guards would kick my ass and there would be no one there to protect me. Or, if they did confiscate her toys, well, it would be my ass that would have to pay for tipping them off. So, I am just going to have to pray for a pardon this afternoon. I don't think that I can stand another day of nonstop "You've got to get yourself together, You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it".

So, if I get convicted, well, I will be needing even more cigarettes so I can hire a posse of body guards to protect me when I turn that bitch in.

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From the desk of Alexis Q. Wigglesbee:

We have managed to move Sallie's trial up to this Friday. We will let you know the results as soon as we get them.

In the mean time, here is a note from Sallie:

Hi Blog Readers. I just want to thank all of you for sending me cigarettes. Not only can I pee in privacy now, one of my cell mates is just so happy with our new arrangement, that she has promised to make me a blanket out of the cigarette butts. I ask that you continue to be vigilant in your support of me in this troubling time and keep the cigarettes rolling in. (I don't want to loose my "Queen Bee" status and get my ass kicked in the ground. And lets not even talk about the bathroom privacy issue.) So, I just pray that you will continue to support my ministry of supporting myself with bribes paid out in the form of cigarettes.

Gratefully Yours,
Sallie

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Hello. I am Alexis Q. Wigglesbee' secretary(Sallie's Lawyer's secretary). While we here at Wigglesbee, Worthington and Smith can make no official comment on the events of the past couple of days, I just want to say, why can't the NC State Fair Officials believe that a human can have a goat child? I mean, don't they read the National Enquirer? Anyway, below you will find a note written to you by Sallie. While we here claim to know nothing of its contents and claim to have no knowledge of this blog, I promise to keep you abreast of any changes in Sallie's situation.

Sallie's Note:

Dear Blog Reader.

Thanks to Anonymous and his rude comments, I tried to steal a goat. I wore a large shirt and managed to find a goat that would roll up in a ball. I mean, I thought I had it made. You know, pregnant people go to the State Fair too. Well, things did not go as planned. As I was nearing the exit gate, the goat baahed out for help. I could do nothing. The cops were on me in a second and the goat leapt out from under my shirt (or my womb as my lawyer has advised me to say). And now, I am in jail. And let me tell you, this is no pleasant place. I have a fear of peeing around other people. And it has been 2 days already. I tell you, I need to piss like there is no tomorrow, but when I sit on the pot my cell mates start staring at me, well, it is no picnic. My lawyer assures me that he can get me out of this. I guess we will see.

Thanks for all your support and if you can manage to send me cigarettes, well do. They are worth gold here. I could rule this place with your help.

Yours truly,
Sallie

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Well, I guess you all know about the comment incident that spoiled all the good fun on this blog. And now, some more mindless dribble for you.

I am working. It is fun. I am having an ok time here. I am working you know, but I am also getting paid to blog. So it's not all bad. (Unlike me who is allgood.)

Get it?
(sigh)
I guess you have to know me.

Anyway, as all of you know, Anonymous really got my goat. I don't have any hopes of getting my goat back, but I think I will look for a suitable replacement. So, you may ask, "Where can you find a goat?" Well friend, let me tell you, the NC State Fair. I am going tonight and I plan on stealing me a goat. So, hopefully, I will find the goat of my dreams and I will have more insightful stuff for you tomorrow. I guess you will have to check back to find out.

(ah, the suspense)

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Well, I was going to write a real post today. Something full of magic. Something that will leave you wanting more and coming to my blog every hour just wishing for inspiration from me. Instead, thanks to Anonymous (see his lame ass and degrading comment on yesterday's post), I am only going to give you mindless dribble. (And I don't expect to get any comments saying that is all you ever get.)

I went to the grocery store last night and I got some stew meat to make chili (it was buy one get one free) and I got london broil (also buy one get one free). I procured face wash (the age defying, exfoliating kind- I want to avoid ever looking like and adult you know) and I picked up some kiwi (the fruit, not the bird). Frozen vegetables found their way in my cart as did yogurt (although I had to kick out quite a few of the flavored brand before the plain would show its face). And, well, there was a whole lot more, but I don't want you to stock your kitchen the same way I do. And that, my friends, is called freedom of expression. I am free to express my kitchen the way I want to without you copying me. Oh, and I saved $22 on VIC specials. So take that Harris Teeter.

In other news, I went to SuperTarget and I got two trash cans, a shoe rack, a shower curtain rod, a surge protector and a slotted spoon. And I went to get new printer cartridges and when I recycled my old ones, I got two packs of paper for free. So, recycling is good for you and your wallet.

And, well, enough mindless dribble for now. I may have to offer up more to you later. Anonymous really got my goat. I am going to have to go to the State Fair and steal one.

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I feel like I should say something. Something exciting. Something bold and daring. Something that has never been said before. Instead, I am going to go to the grocery store. Without the trip, there will be no food in the Allgood household. (Well, assuming one person equals a household.)

Coming up next, whenever I get around to it (hopefully tomorrow), there will be an expose on my high school band experience.

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Hi all. I am currently at school listening to the Panther's game and they are pissing me off. Good thing I can't see them. Then I would be yelling at the TV. But as it is, I have to be quiet to hear the radio and besides, I am at school and there are other people in the building. But Panthers, I am so damn tired of all your penalties on the third down that make and easy third down conversions impossible and that take you out of field goal range.

In other news, I went to a ROCKIN party this weekend hosted by Jon Morgan and I just want to say, thanks for the party. Thanks for your entertainment. Thanks for letting me in on the secret that your second magazine will be KICK ASS. Yes. Thanks for everything.

I also went to another party this weekend. For my cousin who is getting married. It is crazy to think that my youngest female cousin is getting married before my sister or I. But whatever. And the baklava was kick ass delicious. HURRAY for their Greek heritage.

So, here is the final thing that went down this weekend. I was taking a nap and Jonathan decided that I was awake (but in fact I was not). He claims to have demanded a kiss and then he proceeded to dive bomb kiss me on the cheek (meaning that he put a lot of force into it.) This startled me awake and I started yelling. (Well, it was actually OHing, but it was kind of like yelling and not at all like background singing.) And he was really afraid that he poked my eye out with his nose, but I have this to say to him:

I was missing an eyeball, in my head.
And when you tried to poke it out it wasn't there,
You couldn't find it.

(lyrics provided by the Not Happies and soon - hopefully - to be released everywhere.)

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Something yummy you need to eat is this:

Fried eggs topped with fresh salsa from Whole Foods. I think that it is the yummiest thing that I have eaten in a while. The only bad part is that it does not make leftovers for the next day. But it was totally worth it. PeanutButter and Banana sandwich, here I come.

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I now have DSL. Now I never need to leave the house except to buy food, make money and go to rocking parties. (By the way, in the future make sure to let me know if you are having a rocking party that I am invited to.) Tonight, I am supposed to be working on my thesis stuff but since I have free reign on the internet without the worry of a boss walking in, it is hard to be focused. But I guess that I will be a good little worker bee and take care of the stuff that I need to. (I love calling myself a bee. It reminds me of one of my favorite halloween costumes from when I was a kid. But I was not a bee, I was a butterfly, and my wings glowed in the dark. Yep, my costume kicked ass.)

So, that is all I am going to say to you now. I will think of something interesting to say one day, but I am not promising that that day will be tomorrow.

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Last night, while driving to Winston-Salem, I saw the most beautiful sunset ever. The clouds were so totally red and it looked like I was looking at the sun set on the ocean. It was really wonderful looking. And there were parts of the sky that looked almost green. (kind of a blue green but definitely not just blue.) It was spectacular to see. So, here is my suggestion, take a night and just watch the sunset. It will be totally worth it.

The end.

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Oh Blog Reader, when will you come and rescue me from the mess that is my unpacked house? I am tired of unpacking, and I refuse to do it anymore. Well, at least not today. I have DSL finally, but it is still not hooked up. I will work on that tonight (at least I think that I will).

I feel like there should be something for me to say. Something funny, amusing, or down right enjoyable, but really, dear friend (I hope you don't mind me calling you friend), there is no such thing that has gone on in my life that I can really talk about.

Well, one incident does pop into my mind. While having dinner on Friday night with a gal from school, she caught me up on all the gossip. One of the girls in our department put and anti-Bush poster on her door. The next day, it was gone. She found it in the trash and put it back up. After that night, it was gone again, this time ripped up in the trash. So, she taped it up and put it back on her door where it once again became missing, this time permanently. Being the crafty grad students that the people in my department are, they had put a video camera on the poster to see what might happen the second night. They recorded the building's security guard defacing the poster. Kind of makes me feel safe knowing I was in the building with him until 2am some nights.

And that is really all I know to tell you. So adios mi amigos y amigas.

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Friday. A day for the work week to be over, a day for fun and relaxation. A day to prepare for a week of partying. Unfortunately, there are no parties in my future. I have to work this weekend. For my thesis work. It really sucks.

Today, my boss took our lab out to lunch to celebrate my first week of work, only, he did not really take the lab out, he just invited them to lunch and then did not pay for them. I wonder if he is socially clueless? Or just a tightwad? Well, I just know that if I got my PhD and was making a lot of money, then I wouldn't do that to the people working for me.

So far, the job is good. I have spent a lot of time not knowing what to do, but that goes with any new job. Greensboro went well, and I really enjoyed working in the field. So, I think that the job is going to be good.

Last night, I made a kick ass dinner and you should try it one day too. It consisted of potatoes, onion and kielbasa mixed together in a honey dijon mustard and white wine sauce and roasted for about and hour. It was delicious. I loved it. It is of a high enough quality for me to put it on and index card and place it in my recipe box. So I will indeed be doing that. So, now I must work because that is what I get paid for.

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Well, I visited Jon yesterday, but I was disappointed. Not through fault of his own but because of someone else. But at least I visited him and got to see his bright and smiling face.

I must work with a lot of late people. I was supposed to meet my boss here at 8:30 so I arrived promptly at 8:25 and he did not make it in until 8:40. And now he is going to make some phone calls before meeting with me (thus making him even later). So much for punctuality. I guess I will learn in time when I can and cannot be late. But for the time being, I want to make a good impression. And with a secret hidden key to the lab and internet access, things are just fine.

Last night, I started crocheting. It was fun. I also broke a piece of glassware that I could not decide what to do with (keep vs throw away). So that decision was made for me. And now, I must away to Greensboro (or sometime, whenever by boss decided to be ready to go.)

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Ok. So I have not updated in a while - but moving really takes it out of you.

Driving the huge moving truck = fun
Lifting heavy boxes = not fun
Unpacking and deciding where things go = even more not fun

Yesterday, I had orientation at work. Eight hours of rules and regulations that primarily apply to the nursing staff only, and not the researchers. But, I got paid for it so that makes it not terrible.

This morning was my first day of work. I arrived around 8:40 but so far noone else is here (9:00 am). This really sucks. Being at work and doing nothing but sitting out in the hall. At least I am getting paid for this.

I have driven by the Carolina Theatre in Durham many times and everytime, I look for Jon Morgan's car - but I never see it. So Jon - I just wanted you to know I have tried to visit you, but I guess that you have not worked lately when I have been driving by. Or you don't park in front of the theatre. At any rate, I have been thinking of you every time I am in the area.

Update: I am in the room (9:05). Also, I just found out that tomorrow, I am going to Greensboro to collect samples.
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